Saturday, August 13, 2011

Just breathe

I will test on Friday...as in less than a week away!! I've got a lot of emotions running around including excitement, fear, calmness, and a bit of anxiousness for good measure. It'll be ok, I keep telling myself...but then I start to think and...well...it gets scary!

I'm afraid that I'll get a BFP, only to miscarry again (its been a year and a half since my last miscarriage and we have yet to be pregnant again), I'm afraid it'll be a stark white BFN...I'm just scared either way.

I am hopeful, don't get me wrong, but I also don't want to get so excited that I get burned. I'm glad that in 6 days I can test and get this over with one way or the other. If its a BFP, then I will be overjoyed (maybe a little cautious, but overjoyed nonetheless), if its a BFN then I will have to shed a few tears and pick myself up and go back fighting-- this time with Femara and IUI.

It would just be really nice to see those 2 lines...I'm kinda running out of year here and I can't bring myself to say "2012 is going to be the year" since I've already said that about 2009, 2010, and 2011. ::le sigh::

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