Yeah, the verdict is in and its not in my favor...meaning a BFN. I'm handling this one quite well compared to the Clomid one. I cried, yes...and then I picked myself up and talked to two sweet girlfriends for a couple of hours and feel good now.
I've got an appt. tomorrow with the RE to go over everything and B and I decided to go on with another Femara + trigger + TI cycle. And that's it...it is what it is (as a wise friend always tells me).
I'm not going to lie, I'm bummed that I won't be able to bring a child into the world this year, I'm bummed that we are surpassing our 2 year mark of TTC, and BFNs just overly suck. However, I really am ok. I've got my sights set on the next cycle. So here's to a brand new baby in 2012!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Alpha BETA Gamma
So I'm rounding out my 2ww here in a few days. My beta is Tues. Its 2 days away and I find it strange that I'm so calm. I'm starting to get a bit anxious b/c my temp dropped horrendously this morning and also got a BFN when I tested.
I'm ok. I know if this doesn't work out I'll be having a 2012 baby which is ok. But at the same time I'm wondering what we should do next. And IUI? Just another round of Femara again and TI? I've got to decide fast b/c come CD5, I'll have to start meds again.
I feel like such an oldie at all this even though I've only done 1 round of Clomid and this is my first round of Femara and first cycle with the RE. But I have been through it with all my sweet e-friends so I guess I feel like I've had all the anxiousness of finding out how the beta went...the up and down feelings...everything. So I feel like this is old hat. Just another day in the infertility world (which it is).
So Tues. I hope to get the news I've been waiting to hear for 2 years now. I hope I see 2 lines that morning so I'm the first one to know. But, my sweet readers, please remind me if I don't get the news I want that I'm heading in the right direction. Don't let me get depressed like I did with the Clomid. I think that is why I'm calm and not too hopeful. I really, really, really, don't want that feeling of dark hopelessness.
It really swallowed me up for about a month and a half and I hated it. I don't want that darkness again. Hopefully jumping right back into a new cycle will help me out, and knowing that I'm dealing with competent doctors (actual REs).
So...two days to find out if I'm going to be a Mommy for Christmas...
I'm ok. I know if this doesn't work out I'll be having a 2012 baby which is ok. But at the same time I'm wondering what we should do next. And IUI? Just another round of Femara again and TI? I've got to decide fast b/c come CD5, I'll have to start meds again.
I feel like such an oldie at all this even though I've only done 1 round of Clomid and this is my first round of Femara and first cycle with the RE. But I have been through it with all my sweet e-friends so I guess I feel like I've had all the anxiousness of finding out how the beta went...the up and down feelings...everything. So I feel like this is old hat. Just another day in the infertility world (which it is).
So Tues. I hope to get the news I've been waiting to hear for 2 years now. I hope I see 2 lines that morning so I'm the first one to know. But, my sweet readers, please remind me if I don't get the news I want that I'm heading in the right direction. Don't let me get depressed like I did with the Clomid. I think that is why I'm calm and not too hopeful. I really, really, really, don't want that feeling of dark hopelessness.
It really swallowed me up for about a month and a half and I hated it. I don't want that darkness again. Hopefully jumping right back into a new cycle will help me out, and knowing that I'm dealing with competent doctors (actual REs).
So...two days to find out if I'm going to be a Mommy for Christmas...
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