Our Future Kids

I just had to...I got an email from TB this week showing me where they have a "baby morpher" and I just *had* to do it. So I uploaded headshots of DH and me and this is what we got:

Our little girl:


Our little boy:



Not sure about the crazy spiky hair on the boy, but otherwise I think we are going to have cute kids! :P

The Challenge

Start of Cycle 23...can it be that I'm almost at 2 years trying for a baby?? I can honestly say that when I started out on this journey, I never thought I'd be the one having to go see a specialist and going through procedures. I guess you never know what life is going to throw at you.

I can say that I am blessed (yes you read that right) to have been picked for this journey through infertility. I have met a ton of great women and I now know more than I ever could imagine about what goes on with my body. It definitely still confuses me at times...but lets face it, my body has never been one to do as it should...I think some wires got crossed somewhere and it just whacked out my whole hormonal system!

Anyway, so officially on an RE supervised medicated cycle and so happy to not have to do Clomid again, ::shudders:: Its so overwhelming to think of everything I have to do in the next 2 weeks or so...

• Friday, 18th ~ Baseline b/w
• Sunday, 20th ~ Start Femara
• Tuesday, 22nd ~ HSG
• Saturday, 26th ~ CD10 B/W
• Start taking OPKs
• Once I get a +, I have to go in for a monitoring appt and an HSG shot...oh and they are also throwing in a post coital somewhere in there. 

I know its not a lot...but it seems like it to me, especially when most women get pg from just having sex (imagine that!). Still, it makes my heart hurt that so many close friends have had to go through so much more than what I am. I mean, I feel overwhelmed by ^ that? I can't even fathom how crazy overwhelming IVF is.

I have got to send shout outs and e-hugs to all my sweet e-friends, I honestly can tell you I would have gone crazy and probably been really depressed by now if I hadn't met you all. <3 you from the bottom of my heart.

I made a blog button! :)

I'll figure out how to add a grab bar soon, I just had to show off my handy work!

Best weekend ever! (Feb18th-20th)

**Warning** This is more as a reminder to myself than to share any musings or stories. If you read and get bored, don't say I didn't warn you! I just don't want to forget that weekend. :)

Ok so I'm posting this over a week later...and I shouldn't say *ever* because I have had some great weekends, but it was the best in a while.

So starting Friday night, DH and I drove up to the 'Ham for a good friend of ours 30th Birthday. We ate at one of his favorite restaurants, Firebirds and his fiance made it a complete surprise. It was so much fun, and for dessert, K bought a red velvet cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory, YUM!

So Friday night was a fun night with good friends and good food...a great start to the weekend right? Saturday I got up early (yes, I know on a Sat...but it was totally worth it) and got ready to drive back up to B-ham for an early lunch at the Cheesecake Factory with some of the Bama Bumpies. J couldn't make it because she was sick :( but I did get to see B again who is such a sweetie! I also got to meet several other really sweet ladies. Again, cool people, good food...so far this is perfection. Oh and I so had cheesecake again! :P

Some of the ladies had to take off so me and J, J and S walked around and window shopped for about another 30 minutes and then we headed back to our homes. Since I was driving past anyway, I detoured to BMC which is where my RE appt will be at. I like to know where I'm going so I'm not freaking out the day of. Its bad enough having to fight all the traffic.

So back in T-town, and my BFF, M comes into town b/c he bought us Bama Basketball tickets. So the basketball game is totally awesome, way loud and excited and we win so that's even better! Afterward, we go to Wings U which is a new place in town with some strange/unique but good food. There was quite the group of us and there happened to be live music that night. The guy was a good singer and sang some of my favorite tunes. We got seated pretty close so of course we were rambunctious and singing along...which was good because not a lot of people were getting into the music and it made me feel sad for him. I mean I know I don't want to entertain a crowd who's not paying me any attention.

Well, he played a few songs our group loves and we sang LOUD and echoed back parts. We did the "da da da da" parts to the Proclaimers "I Would Walk 500 Miles." So the guy is acknowledging our table and we are loving it. Well our group goes crazy whenever we hear "Sweet Caroline" and we're all together so I walk up to the stage and ask if he knows it. He says "yes"and I tell him if he wants to have fun and hear a bunch of crazies singing at the top of our lungs he should play it. So that's the next song. It was a pretty fun memory. I'm sure most of the other diners thought we were drunk, which we weren't, but hey, we were enjoying the entertainment!

Anyway, Sunday rolls around and after a great sermon at church, we grab some fried chicken, sweet tea and chips at the Publix and head out to my mom's lake house to have a picnic out on the dock. The weekend's weather couldn't have been better. We hung out, had a good time and watched one of my dogs play catch with some floatie toy my brother bought her that she LOVES. I think she loves to jump in the water and swim, so she gets really focused on the toy and its really hard to get her out of the lake sometimes.

So, what more could a girl ask for? Surrounded by great people, eating delicious food, enjoying the wonderful weather...I did not want that weekend to end.

Taking the dive

So after almost 2 years, lots of going back and forth, many tears, and a little bit of drama, I have picked up the phone and made THE appointment. I'll be having my consultation with a "real" RE on March 3rd!

I put real in quotes b/c as most of you know, I had a brief relationship with my ob/gyn's infertility department back in Jun/Jul 2010 and had a so-so experience. The nurses were great but I never once met the "RE" and really there was no RE at their IF dept. Nope, it was an ob/gyn that ran the dept. and basically several nurses that did EVERYTHING. I'm ok with nurses taking care of me, but to not ever meet the Dr. that has my IF care in her hands?? Unacceptable. I understand them being busy, and I understand the I wasn't at the level of care that required a doctor's intervention, but it would have been nice to meet the person who decided my 6.7 TSH was "fine." Do I know if she even saw the results? I never got to address my concerns with her. So yeah, after a bad experience on Clomid and them basically shrugging my concerns about my thyroid off, I said "no more!" and just quit going.

And now I've gone off and ranted about a facility, which for the most part I have LOVED. Just not the IF dept. so much. Anyway, so new RE is a real RE and I'm actually going to get to meet her and sit down and talk with her and go over what she thinks will be best for me. Interesting concept that is, huh? So I'm excited to get the ball rolling b/c it seems perfectly clear that I will not get pregnant on my own. And so I'm taking a leap off the high dive and hopefully making a beautiful swan dive into the pool of infertility treatments. May the needles enter smoothly and leave little to no bruising, may my emotions remain in tact, and most importantly, may I end up with a nice round belly by the end of the year.

Why?

Today a friend of mine said goodbye to her sweet little boy and girl. I don't know why this happened as I know many prayers were sent for their safety. I cried for several hours today, but my heart is still burdened with the fact that she still is crying. Its so cruel.

I hate that this has to be the way it is. I hate that my wonderful friend is hurting so bad.

Your angels will always be remembered. I love you.

Almost forgot...

My lovely friend Papps over at Our Arduous Journey gave me an award a week or so ago and I totally forgot to post it. 

 

Thanks sweetie! So I'm supposed to share 7 things about myself so here goes:

1. I have 3 families (including my stepdad's family). I love that I have 3 families, I get that much extra love not to mention an extra set of grandparents and a whole load of aunts, uncles and cousins! 

2. Said families were all together for mine and my oldest brother's high school and college graduations and my wedding and everyone got along perfectly. 

3. I was born in Germany (my parents were both in the Air Force)

4. I am a tomboy. I've loved Alabama football for some time now, but the guys have also gotten me interested in basketball, baseball, and hockey over the years. I love to go watch the games and I love hanging out with my guys (including DH). I don't mind getting dressed up for a special occasion, but most days you'll find me in jeans and a comfy shirt with hair pulled back in a ponytail and minimal makeup. That's just the way I am.

5. I am usually very energetic, loud, talkative, opinionated, and animated. I don't like to annoy people, but I know I do sometimes. I really do try to take it down a notch if I realize I'm being over the top. But again, that's just the way I am. 

6. My 10 year high school reunion is coming up in June and I'm so excited to see all my classmates again. We were a really awesome group of about 560 graduates. Obviously we didn't all know each other or were even friends with everyone, but even though there were cliques, we all got along and everyone truly cared about each other. Go Falcons!

7. I would really, really like to be a mom. I know DH and I will be good parents, but it does scare me sometimes how much our life is going to change. I can't wait for it to happen, but since its taking so long to get pg, I've had a lot of time to sit and think about how much things will change instead of it just happening after a surprise BFP. I don't resent it though (at least most of the time), I hope the waiting is going to make me better prepared.

I'm also supposed to give this award to so many people who haven't gotten it before, but since I'm still fairly new to the blogging world I'm just going to list some of the blogs I like to keep tabs on. In no particular order:

...And Baby Makes Three 
A Day in the Life of Jenn 
Missing Baby Carriage 
What's left? There's life. 
Maybe if You Just Relax 
Our Journey... 

I'm sure I've missed some, but like I've said, I'm still getting used to all this blogging stuff. :P