Yeah, the verdict is in and its not in my favor...meaning a BFN. I'm handling this one quite well compared to the Clomid one. I cried, yes...and then I picked myself up and talked to two sweet girlfriends for a couple of hours and feel good now.
I've got an appt. tomorrow with the RE to go over everything and B and I decided to go on with another Femara + trigger + TI cycle. And that's it...it is what it is (as a wise friend always tells me).
I'm not going to lie, I'm bummed that I won't be able to bring a child into the world this year, I'm bummed that we are surpassing our 2 year mark of TTC, and BFNs just overly suck. However, I really am ok. I've got my sights set on the next cycle. So here's to a brand new baby in 2012!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Alpha BETA Gamma
So I'm rounding out my 2ww here in a few days. My beta is Tues. Its 2 days away and I find it strange that I'm so calm. I'm starting to get a bit anxious b/c my temp dropped horrendously this morning and also got a BFN when I tested.
I'm ok. I know if this doesn't work out I'll be having a 2012 baby which is ok. But at the same time I'm wondering what we should do next. And IUI? Just another round of Femara again and TI? I've got to decide fast b/c come CD5, I'll have to start meds again.
I feel like such an oldie at all this even though I've only done 1 round of Clomid and this is my first round of Femara and first cycle with the RE. But I have been through it with all my sweet e-friends so I guess I feel like I've had all the anxiousness of finding out how the beta went...the up and down feelings...everything. So I feel like this is old hat. Just another day in the infertility world (which it is).
So Tues. I hope to get the news I've been waiting to hear for 2 years now. I hope I see 2 lines that morning so I'm the first one to know. But, my sweet readers, please remind me if I don't get the news I want that I'm heading in the right direction. Don't let me get depressed like I did with the Clomid. I think that is why I'm calm and not too hopeful. I really, really, really, don't want that feeling of dark hopelessness.
It really swallowed me up for about a month and a half and I hated it. I don't want that darkness again. Hopefully jumping right back into a new cycle will help me out, and knowing that I'm dealing with competent doctors (actual REs).
So...two days to find out if I'm going to be a Mommy for Christmas...
I'm ok. I know if this doesn't work out I'll be having a 2012 baby which is ok. But at the same time I'm wondering what we should do next. And IUI? Just another round of Femara again and TI? I've got to decide fast b/c come CD5, I'll have to start meds again.
I feel like such an oldie at all this even though I've only done 1 round of Clomid and this is my first round of Femara and first cycle with the RE. But I have been through it with all my sweet e-friends so I guess I feel like I've had all the anxiousness of finding out how the beta went...the up and down feelings...everything. So I feel like this is old hat. Just another day in the infertility world (which it is).
So Tues. I hope to get the news I've been waiting to hear for 2 years now. I hope I see 2 lines that morning so I'm the first one to know. But, my sweet readers, please remind me if I don't get the news I want that I'm heading in the right direction. Don't let me get depressed like I did with the Clomid. I think that is why I'm calm and not too hopeful. I really, really, really, don't want that feeling of dark hopelessness.
It really swallowed me up for about a month and a half and I hated it. I don't want that darkness again. Hopefully jumping right back into a new cycle will help me out, and knowing that I'm dealing with competent doctors (actual REs).
So...two days to find out if I'm going to be a Mommy for Christmas...
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Our Future Kids
I just had to...I got an email from TB this week showing me where they have a "baby morpher" and I just *had* to do it. So I uploaded headshots of DH and me and this is what we got:
Our little girl:
Our little boy:
Not sure about the crazy spiky hair on the boy, but otherwise I think we are going to have cute kids! :P
Our little girl:
Our little boy:
Not sure about the crazy spiky hair on the boy, but otherwise I think we are going to have cute kids! :P
Thursday, March 17, 2011
The Challenge
Start of Cycle 23...can it be that I'm almost at 2 years trying for a baby?? I can honestly say that when I started out on this journey, I never thought I'd be the one having to go see a specialist and going through procedures. I guess you never know what life is going to throw at you.
I can say that I am blessed (yes you read that right) to have been picked for this journey through infertility. I have met a ton of great women and I now know more than I ever could imagine about what goes on with my body. It definitely still confuses me at times...but lets face it, my body has never been one to do as it should...I think some wires got crossed somewhere and it just whacked out my whole hormonal system!
Anyway, so officially on an RE supervised medicated cycle and so happy to not have to do Clomid again, ::shudders:: Its so overwhelming to think of everything I have to do in the next 2 weeks or so...
I have got to send shout outs and e-hugs to all my sweet e-friends, I honestly can tell you I would have gone crazy and probably been really depressed by now if I hadn't met you all. <3 you from the bottom of my heart.
I can say that I am blessed (yes you read that right) to have been picked for this journey through infertility. I have met a ton of great women and I now know more than I ever could imagine about what goes on with my body. It definitely still confuses me at times...but lets face it, my body has never been one to do as it should...I think some wires got crossed somewhere and it just whacked out my whole hormonal system!
Anyway, so officially on an RE supervised medicated cycle and so happy to not have to do Clomid again, ::shudders:: Its so overwhelming to think of everything I have to do in the next 2 weeks or so...
- Friday, 18th ~ Baseline b/w
- Sunday, 20th ~ Start Femara
- Tuesday, 22nd ~ HSG
- Saturday, 26th ~ CD10 B/W
- Start taking OPKs
- Once I get a +, I have to go in for a monitoring appt and an HSG shot...oh and they are also throwing in a post coital somewhere in there.
I have got to send shout outs and e-hugs to all my sweet e-friends, I honestly can tell you I would have gone crazy and probably been really depressed by now if I hadn't met you all. <3 you from the bottom of my heart.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
I made a blog button! :)
 | ||
| I'll figure out how to add a grab bar soon, I just had to show off my handy work! |
Best weekend ever! (Feb18th-20th)
**Warning** This is more as a reminder to myself than to share any musings or stories. If you read and get bored, don't say I didn't warn you! I just don't want to forget that weekend. :)
Ok so I'm posting this over a week later...and I shouldn't say *ever* because I have had some great weekends, but it was the best in a while.
So starting Friday night, DH and I drove up to the 'Ham for a good friend of ours 30th Birthday. We ate at one of his favorite restaurants, Firebirds and his fiance made it a complete surprise. It was so much fun, and for dessert, K bought a red velvet cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory, YUM!
So Friday night was a fun night with good friends and good food...a great start to the weekend right? Saturday I got up early (yes, I know on a Sat...but it was totally worth it) and got ready to drive back up to B-ham for an early lunch at the Cheesecake Factory with some of the Bama Bumpies. J couldn't make it because she was sick :( but I did get to see B again who is such a sweetie! I also got to meet several other really sweet ladies. Again, cool people, good food...so far this is perfection. Oh and I so had cheesecake again! :P
Some of the ladies had to take off so me and J, J and S walked around and window shopped for about another 30 minutes and then we headed back to our homes. Since I was driving past anyway, I detoured to BMC which is where my RE appt will be at. I like to know where I'm going so I'm not freaking out the day of. Its bad enough having to fight all the traffic.
So back in T-town, and my BFF, M comes into town b/c he bought us Bama Basketball tickets. So the basketball game is totally awesome, way loud and excited and we win so that's even better! Afterward, we go to Wings U which is a new place in town with some strange/unique but good food. There was quite the group of us and there happened to be live music that night. The guy was a good singer and sang some of my favorite tunes. We got seated pretty close so of course we were rambunctious and singing along...which was good because not a lot of people were getting into the music and it made me feel sad for him. I mean I know I don't want to entertain a crowd who's not paying me any attention.
Well, he played a few songs our group loves and we sang LOUD and echoed back parts. We did the "da da da da" parts to the Proclaimers "I Would Walk 500 Miles." So the guy is acknowledging our table and we are loving it. Well our group goes crazy whenever we hear "Sweet Caroline" and we're all together so I walk up to the stage and ask if he knows it. He says "yes"and I tell him if he wants to have fun and hear a bunch of crazies singing at the top of our lungs he should play it. So that's the next song. It was a pretty fun memory. I'm sure most of the other diners thought we were drunk, which we weren't, but hey, we were enjoying the entertainment!
Anyway, Sunday rolls around and after a great sermon at church, we grab some fried chicken, sweet tea and chips at the Publix and head out to my mom's lake house to have a picnic out on the dock. The weekend's weather couldn't have been better. We hung out, had a good time and watched one of my dogs play catch with some floatie toy my brother bought her that she LOVES. I think she loves to jump in the water and swim, so she gets really focused on the toy and its really hard to get her out of the lake sometimes.
So, what more could a girl ask for? Surrounded by great people, eating delicious food, enjoying the wonderful weather...I did not want that weekend to end.
Ok so I'm posting this over a week later...and I shouldn't say *ever* because I have had some great weekends, but it was the best in a while.
So starting Friday night, DH and I drove up to the 'Ham for a good friend of ours 30th Birthday. We ate at one of his favorite restaurants, Firebirds and his fiance made it a complete surprise. It was so much fun, and for dessert, K bought a red velvet cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory, YUM!
So Friday night was a fun night with good friends and good food...a great start to the weekend right? Saturday I got up early (yes, I know on a Sat...but it was totally worth it) and got ready to drive back up to B-ham for an early lunch at the Cheesecake Factory with some of the Bama Bumpies. J couldn't make it because she was sick :( but I did get to see B again who is such a sweetie! I also got to meet several other really sweet ladies. Again, cool people, good food...so far this is perfection. Oh and I so had cheesecake again! :P
Some of the ladies had to take off so me and J, J and S walked around and window shopped for about another 30 minutes and then we headed back to our homes. Since I was driving past anyway, I detoured to BMC which is where my RE appt will be at. I like to know where I'm going so I'm not freaking out the day of. Its bad enough having to fight all the traffic.
So back in T-town, and my BFF, M comes into town b/c he bought us Bama Basketball tickets. So the basketball game is totally awesome, way loud and excited and we win so that's even better! Afterward, we go to Wings U which is a new place in town with some strange/unique but good food. There was quite the group of us and there happened to be live music that night. The guy was a good singer and sang some of my favorite tunes. We got seated pretty close so of course we were rambunctious and singing along...which was good because not a lot of people were getting into the music and it made me feel sad for him. I mean I know I don't want to entertain a crowd who's not paying me any attention.
Well, he played a few songs our group loves and we sang LOUD and echoed back parts. We did the "da da da da" parts to the Proclaimers "I Would Walk 500 Miles." So the guy is acknowledging our table and we are loving it. Well our group goes crazy whenever we hear "Sweet Caroline" and we're all together so I walk up to the stage and ask if he knows it. He says "yes"and I tell him if he wants to have fun and hear a bunch of crazies singing at the top of our lungs he should play it. So that's the next song. It was a pretty fun memory. I'm sure most of the other diners thought we were drunk, which we weren't, but hey, we were enjoying the entertainment!
Anyway, Sunday rolls around and after a great sermon at church, we grab some fried chicken, sweet tea and chips at the Publix and head out to my mom's lake house to have a picnic out on the dock. The weekend's weather couldn't have been better. We hung out, had a good time and watched one of my dogs play catch with some floatie toy my brother bought her that she LOVES. I think she loves to jump in the water and swim, so she gets really focused on the toy and its really hard to get her out of the lake sometimes.
So, what more could a girl ask for? Surrounded by great people, eating delicious food, enjoying the wonderful weather...I did not want that weekend to end.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Taking the dive
So after almost 2 years, lots of going back and forth, many tears, and a little bit of drama, I have picked up the phone and made THE appointment. I'll be having my consultation with a "real" RE on March 3rd!
I put real in quotes b/c as most of you know, I had a brief relationship with my ob/gyn's infertility department back in Jun/Jul 2010 and had a so-so experience. The nurses were great but I never once met the "RE" and really there was no RE at their IF dept. Nope, it was an ob/gyn that ran the dept. and basically several nurses that did EVERYTHING. I'm ok with nurses taking care of me, but to not ever meet the Dr. that has my IF care in her hands?? Unacceptable. I understand them being busy, and I understand the I wasn't at the level of care that required a doctor's intervention, but it would have been nice to meet the person who decided my 6.7 TSH was "fine." Do I know if she even saw the results? I never got to address my concerns with her. So yeah, after a bad experience on Clomid and them basically shrugging my concerns about my thyroid off, I said "no more!" and just quit going.
And now I've gone off and ranted about a facility, which for the most part I have LOVED. Just not the IF dept. so much. Anyway, so new RE is a real RE and I'm actually going to get to meet her and sit down and talk with her and go over what she thinks will be best for me. Interesting concept that is, huh? So I'm excited to get the ball rolling b/c it seems perfectly clear that I will not get pregnant on my own. And so I'm taking a leap off the high dive and hopefully making a beautiful swan dive into the pool of infertility treatments. May the needles enter smoothly and leave little to no bruising, may my emotions remain in tact, and most importantly, may I end up with a nice round belly by the end of the year.
I put real in quotes b/c as most of you know, I had a brief relationship with my ob/gyn's infertility department back in Jun/Jul 2010 and had a so-so experience. The nurses were great but I never once met the "RE" and really there was no RE at their IF dept. Nope, it was an ob/gyn that ran the dept. and basically several nurses that did EVERYTHING. I'm ok with nurses taking care of me, but to not ever meet the Dr. that has my IF care in her hands?? Unacceptable. I understand them being busy, and I understand the I wasn't at the level of care that required a doctor's intervention, but it would have been nice to meet the person who decided my 6.7 TSH was "fine." Do I know if she even saw the results? I never got to address my concerns with her. So yeah, after a bad experience on Clomid and them basically shrugging my concerns about my thyroid off, I said "no more!" and just quit going.
And now I've gone off and ranted about a facility, which for the most part I have LOVED. Just not the IF dept. so much. Anyway, so new RE is a real RE and I'm actually going to get to meet her and sit down and talk with her and go over what she thinks will be best for me. Interesting concept that is, huh? So I'm excited to get the ball rolling b/c it seems perfectly clear that I will not get pregnant on my own. And so I'm taking a leap off the high dive and hopefully making a beautiful swan dive into the pool of infertility treatments. May the needles enter smoothly and leave little to no bruising, may my emotions remain in tact, and most importantly, may I end up with a nice round belly by the end of the year.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)