Spring Summary

So I've been so busy and caught up with all the stuff that's been going on that I've completely neglected my blog. So I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible and do a summary of how our spring panned out.

Apr. 13th~ My last post, we got a BFN from my first Femara Cycle.

Apr. 15th~ Was getting ready for our next Femara cycle, this one with an IUI, but God had other plans for us. Our house got hit by a tornado that came through the south of town today. We lost the front part of our roof, gutters, had a tree on our house (luckily little damage from that), and we had a LOT of water damage inside. Our repairs ended up including:

• a whole new roof (completed)
• getting the tree removed (completed)
• new gutters
• replace ceilings in garage, hallway, and front bathroom
• repaint ALL of our ceilings as we have water spots everywhere
• replace flooring to all carpeted areas (meaning every room except hallway, bathrooms and kitchen/dining area

As you can see we've only got two things finished, everything else is taking a long while because Apr. 27th happened. I quickly made the decision that it was going to be way to stressful to try to do a medicated cycle with so much going on, so we canceled until further notice. :(

Apr. 27~ As if it weren't bad enough that we had damage to our house on the 15th, today one of the largest tornadoes ever slammed our state and tore up about 10-15% of my city. Not only was the tornado about a mile wide, but it stayed on the ground for almost 200 miles (almost from state border to state border). Completely unheard of! I'm thankful that I did not know anyone who was killed in that storm although the whole state's death toll was high 200's. There were also about 20 or so more tornadoes that ripped through central and northern Alabama that day as well causing a lot of death and destruction to a lot of other cities and towns. It was a horrible day and I count my blessings that while our house is damaged, we still have a house to come home to. Its a day I don't think many will forget anytime soon.

May~ Most of May was more or less ho-hum. We did do some helping a few weekends at the church with tornado relief. The 21st B and I went to ATL with my dad and some family friends and went snorkeling in the shark tank...it was an incredibly awesome experience! Definitely a fun memory and totally something I'd love to do again. Those huge rays and whale sharks swimming right by you and underneath you is just something hard to explain how it makes you feel.

I also had a meeting with my RE to talk about a laparoscopy since I've been having increasing pain (even throughout my cycle, not just during AF). We decided to shoot for June 17th.

June 17th~ So I was really afraid this day would get pushed back as we had a bit of an issue with getting AF to start, even after a PIO. Ended up I started the day of surgery...go figure! I was surprisingly calm the whole night before and morning of. Its weird b/c I got nervous going to my first RE appointment, so you'd think surgery would really freak me out, but I was fine the whole time. Surgery went off without a hitch and mild endo was found and taken care of. I was very lucky in that I had very little pain and none of the shoulder gas pain I was worried about. I was up and moving around the next day and Sunday! Going back to work kinda sucked, but all in all I'd have to say I fared very well.

And well, we are now into summer. We're still waiting on contractors to get busy fixing our house, I'm waiting on AF so we can FINALLY get back on track for that Femara + IUI cycle, and even though I could be pessimistic and upset at a lot of stuff, I have to say I have a good outlook on things. Honestly, coming into this year I thought I'd be a wreck reaching the 2 year mark TTC, and getting to the point where a 2011 baby was no longer possible, and both have passed and I'm ok.

Obviously, there are always good and bad days, but I know that my bad days are better than a lot of people's good days, and I know I'm blessed so I should keep my complaining to a minimum.

Well, that's my spring summary! Hopefully I will be better about updating (but no promises). :P

Negatory Batman

Yeah, the verdict is in and its not in my favor...meaning a BFN. I'm handling this one quite well compared to the Clomid one. I cried, yes...and then I picked myself up and talked to two sweet girlfriends for a couple of hours and feel good now.

I've got an appt. tomorrow with the RE to go over everything and B and I decided to go on with another Femara + trigger + TI cycle.  And that's it...it is what it is (as a wise friend always tells me).

I'm not going to lie, I'm bummed that I won't be able to bring a child into the world this year, I'm bummed that we are surpassing our 2 year mark of TTC, and BFNs just overly suck. However, I really am ok. I've got my sights set on the next cycle. So here's to a brand new baby in 2012!

Alpha BETA Gamma

So I'm rounding out my 2ww here in a few days. My beta is Tues. Its 2 days away and I find it strange that I'm so calm. I'm starting to get a bit anxious b/c my temp dropped horrendously this morning and also got a BFN when I tested.

I'm ok. I know if this doesn't work out I'll be having a 2012 baby which is ok. But at the same time I'm wondering what we should do next. And IUI? Just another round of Femara again and TI? I've got to decide fast b/c come CD5, I'll have to start meds again.

I feel like such an oldie at all this even though I've only done 1 round of Clomid and this is my first round of Femara and first cycle with the RE. But I have been through it with all my sweet e-friends so I guess I feel like I've had all the anxiousness of finding out how the beta went...the up and down feelings...everything. So I feel like this is old hat. Just another day in the infertility world (which it is).

So Tues. I hope to get the news I've been waiting to hear for 2 years now. I hope I see 2 lines that morning so I'm the first one to know. But, my sweet readers, please remind me if I don't get the news I want that I'm heading in the right direction. Don't let me get depressed like I did with the Clomid. I think that is why I'm calm and not too hopeful. I really, really, really, don't want that feeling of dark hopelessness.

It really swallowed me up for about a month and a half and I hated it. I don't want that darkness again. Hopefully jumping right back into a new cycle will help me out, and knowing that I'm dealing with competent doctors (actual REs).

So...two days to find out if I'm going to be a Mommy for Christmas...

Our Future Kids

I just had to...I got an email from TB this week showing me where they have a "baby morpher" and I just *had* to do it. So I uploaded headshots of DH and me and this is what we got:

Our little girl:


Our little boy:



Not sure about the crazy spiky hair on the boy, but otherwise I think we are going to have cute kids! :P

The Challenge

Start of Cycle 23...can it be that I'm almost at 2 years trying for a baby?? I can honestly say that when I started out on this journey, I never thought I'd be the one having to go see a specialist and going through procedures. I guess you never know what life is going to throw at you.

I can say that I am blessed (yes you read that right) to have been picked for this journey through infertility. I have met a ton of great women and I now know more than I ever could imagine about what goes on with my body. It definitely still confuses me at times...but lets face it, my body has never been one to do as it should...I think some wires got crossed somewhere and it just whacked out my whole hormonal system!

Anyway, so officially on an RE supervised medicated cycle and so happy to not have to do Clomid again, ::shudders:: Its so overwhelming to think of everything I have to do in the next 2 weeks or so...

• Friday, 18th ~ Baseline b/w
• Sunday, 20th ~ Start Femara
• Tuesday, 22nd ~ HSG
• Saturday, 26th ~ CD10 B/W
• Start taking OPKs
• Once I get a +, I have to go in for a monitoring appt and an HSG shot...oh and they are also throwing in a post coital somewhere in there. 

I know its not a lot...but it seems like it to me, especially when most women get pg from just having sex (imagine that!). Still, it makes my heart hurt that so many close friends have had to go through so much more than what I am. I mean, I feel overwhelmed by ^ that? I can't even fathom how crazy overwhelming IVF is.

I have got to send shout outs and e-hugs to all my sweet e-friends, I honestly can tell you I would have gone crazy and probably been really depressed by now if I hadn't met you all. <3 you from the bottom of my heart.

I made a blog button! :)

I'll figure out how to add a grab bar soon, I just had to show off my handy work!

Best weekend ever! (Feb18th-20th)

**Warning** This is more as a reminder to myself than to share any musings or stories. If you read and get bored, don't say I didn't warn you! I just don't want to forget that weekend. :)

Ok so I'm posting this over a week later...and I shouldn't say *ever* because I have had some great weekends, but it was the best in a while.

So starting Friday night, DH and I drove up to the 'Ham for a good friend of ours 30th Birthday. We ate at one of his favorite restaurants, Firebirds and his fiance made it a complete surprise. It was so much fun, and for dessert, K bought a red velvet cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory, YUM!

So Friday night was a fun night with good friends and good food...a great start to the weekend right? Saturday I got up early (yes, I know on a Sat...but it was totally worth it) and got ready to drive back up to B-ham for an early lunch at the Cheesecake Factory with some of the Bama Bumpies. J couldn't make it because she was sick :( but I did get to see B again who is such a sweetie! I also got to meet several other really sweet ladies. Again, cool people, good food...so far this is perfection. Oh and I so had cheesecake again! :P

Some of the ladies had to take off so me and J, J and S walked around and window shopped for about another 30 minutes and then we headed back to our homes. Since I was driving past anyway, I detoured to BMC which is where my RE appt will be at. I like to know where I'm going so I'm not freaking out the day of. Its bad enough having to fight all the traffic.

So back in T-town, and my BFF, M comes into town b/c he bought us Bama Basketball tickets. So the basketball game is totally awesome, way loud and excited and we win so that's even better! Afterward, we go to Wings U which is a new place in town with some strange/unique but good food. There was quite the group of us and there happened to be live music that night. The guy was a good singer and sang some of my favorite tunes. We got seated pretty close so of course we were rambunctious and singing along...which was good because not a lot of people were getting into the music and it made me feel sad for him. I mean I know I don't want to entertain a crowd who's not paying me any attention.

Well, he played a few songs our group loves and we sang LOUD and echoed back parts. We did the "da da da da" parts to the Proclaimers "I Would Walk 500 Miles." So the guy is acknowledging our table and we are loving it. Well our group goes crazy whenever we hear "Sweet Caroline" and we're all together so I walk up to the stage and ask if he knows it. He says "yes"and I tell him if he wants to have fun and hear a bunch of crazies singing at the top of our lungs he should play it. So that's the next song. It was a pretty fun memory. I'm sure most of the other diners thought we were drunk, which we weren't, but hey, we were enjoying the entertainment!

Anyway, Sunday rolls around and after a great sermon at church, we grab some fried chicken, sweet tea and chips at the Publix and head out to my mom's lake house to have a picnic out on the dock. The weekend's weather couldn't have been better. We hung out, had a good time and watched one of my dogs play catch with some floatie toy my brother bought her that she LOVES. I think she loves to jump in the water and swim, so she gets really focused on the toy and its really hard to get her out of the lake sometimes.

So, what more could a girl ask for? Surrounded by great people, eating delicious food, enjoying the wonderful weather...I did not want that weekend to end.